SEE YA LATER, February.

Febraury is going... going... gone.

Thank God: worst month ever.

I'm revising my goal list for March and taking out "learning something new." I mean, there's plenty of room for discovery, but the best kind of discoveries are the ones you don't plan.

Which means I'll have the big 5 - a nice round number - to focus on this month.

After another 4 day weekend, I'm not looking forward to work, but I figure I'm going to attack Monday like it's no one's business. I'm talking a breakfast of rolled oats and coffee type of morning, an out-the-door before seven and checkin' emails by 8 kind of morning.

I know we're supposed to get "more inclement weather" this week, but I say this: here's to March. Here's to sunshine, skirt weather, sunglasses. To baseball (!), bike rides, to the first nice day at the boardwalk. Hang in there: we've got this.

Gimme shelter

Another day working from home. Really? Really?

I tried to go to work. Why? Because I am a lemming of the American work ethic. I feel guilty for not showing up. So I nearly kill myself to get to my job.

I made it about ten minutes into my commute before I wisely decided to turn tail. It wasn't the roads I was scared of: it was other drivers. I showed up at my mom's in full-on tears. She showered me in hugs and reassurance and said, "want a waffle?" and everything was OK again. I did a little work from home, then crawled into my old bed and didn't move for two hours. Mom, you rock.

Hard to believe that we were in Boston a week ago.

I am more than happy to say goodbye to February. With that in mind, these are my goals for March:

1. Run my 5k in less than 33 minutes. I know I can do it - but I need to push myself to do it. That means committing to running outdoors, learning the race route and continuing my runs at a consistent pace instead of lazing out.

2. Read more. I haven't leisure read in a while and that's a damn shame. I'm pretty bummed: JFK's book, Why England Slept, doesn't seem to be in any local library, and it's $50 on amazon.com.

3. Write. I am itching with inspiration, especially in light on visiting grandma. I don't know if I'll ever be brave enough to share, but I need to get back in the habit.

4. Cut back on Facebook and Twitter. I'm talking three times a week, tops. I spend wayyyyy too much time there. Instead, I'm gonna opt to spend time making a scrapbook for my trip in April.

5. Learn something new. Maybe I should think about sewing. Since I seem to ruin my clothes a lot.

and lastly: 6. Enjoy my meals. I have been rushing breakfast more and more. Hate hate hate hate doing that. I don't taste my coffee. I'm wondering if I even like coffee anymore. I really don't know: it could just be the psychological fix. I have some things to think about: maybe I'll switch to tea.

Time for bed. Saturdays and Sundays.... the best days.

The 5k Playlist + Gym Woes

Good morning. Welcome to working from home, part 702. February's final "F*** you" has arrived in the form of heavy, wet snow. Another 12 inches expected on the shore. The scary part of it is how the storm moved: it was expected to graze the shore and move north east (but stay north of shore counties. Instead it kinda swung down, positioned itself directly over Jersey, then moved northward. And don't say global warming doesn't exist. We've completely changed the way storms move now. But maybe the worst implication of global warming is the creation of the word "snow-icane." Next up: snowquakes, snow-namis and snow-fires. It's true.

So, I'm working on the final playlist for my 5K. This will be simple, since I listen to the same 12 songs to begin with. I'm going to post the list next time: would love to hear feedback or your favorite "kickass" running songs.

Onto my gym woes. I'm a member of Retro Fitness. I chose the gym for the no-frill approach (it's $20 a month, which fits my broke-ass budget nicely) and I knew I needed a gym to stay healthy (and not gain any weight) during my very, very sedentary months. And it's worked. I haven't lost a ton of weight per se, but this is the first winter I can remember not gaining weight, and I'm happy with that. Thus, Retro Fitness is serving its purpose.

On most days I go to "my" gym located in Kingston, which is about 5 minutes from work, which makes it perfect for my routine. Every now and then I'll go home after work then go to the gym: the closest one is in Brick.

My roommate recently became a Retro Fitness member. Her words describe the scene perfectly: "I walked into the gym and I was alarmed."

"Alarmed" is the perfect word for it. This is not Average Joe's gym. This is not even Fitness Lovers' gym. This gym is dominated by meatheads and fashionistas. The former are in admirably great shape, but thrash around rudely on the weights and don't have ANY sense of etiquette: wipe down the machine when you're done - it's disgusting!! The entire gym smells like sweat the second you're in the door.

While I can at least respect the He-Mans and She-ras because they're in such good shape, I think I hate the fashionistas the very most. Girls who don't even tie their hair up when the work out, who are there for show. They're wearing coordinated outfits...or sometimes just a sports bra and shorts. I'm wearing my ratty t-shirt from high school, and these bitches match earrings with shoelaces. And on a personal note, it's just uncomfortable for me to be the biggest person at the gym, and I'm not even morbidly obese.

Bear in mind: this is Brick's location exclusively. I love, love, love the gym in Kingston; CK's mom works at Retro in DE and she describes it as "pristine and gorgeous." Which points me to something I have always said: There's something a little "funny" about people who live in Bricktown.

Tres bien!

Well, most of you already know the good news: I booked my flight to Paris yesterday!

I honestly can’t believe it was that easy. I always tell people the same thing in regard to travel: “When I had the time to do it, I didn’t have the money. Now that I make money, I don’t have the time.”

And, of course, there was the whole putting off the passport thing.

And suddenly, here I am: passport and flight booked? I really, really can’t wrap my head around it.

So! I’ll be flying out on the 26th and leaving May 3rd. Yes: I’ll turn 24 in Paris.

In classic “me” form, I blabbed to the whole freaking world when it happened. I think the best reaction wasn’t from Chris, but my mom, who called me at work in near tears. It was really adorable.

That’s enough blabbing about Paris. Sixty days to go. I promise these posts will start becoming more goal-oriented and less silly!

It's here!!

One pretty great thing happened today:



I'm a plane ticket away. And hey, I could totally go to Canada if I wanted to. And it's good for ten years. Ten years!! I'll be old by then. :)

More tomorrow, perhaps. I have a lot I want to get done; I still haven't given up anything for Lent, and I didn't go running. Instead I went shopping, and you know what? It rocked. I <3 retail therapy.

A Wolf Pack Takes on Boston

Wow, what a weekend.

Somehow, I have to start at the very end of today before I start from the beginning. As I hugged my mother goodbye - that extra-nice, mutual mother-daughter "moment" - we both exclaimed, "This was the BEST weekend, thank you!" My dad, bewildered, said, "Man, grandma's cancer is the best thing that's happened to you."

In a way it's eerily true. I'm not here to write "my grandma has cancer" and then spend time feeling sorry about it. I am a firm believer in the old saying: It is what it is. And true, the last 72 hours were probably the last time I'll be visiting her.

She is truly remarkable. A writer at heart, she typed up her family stories - she has 91 and a half years of them, to boot - and can still tell you about the time she was attending Catholic school at age 6, and how her mother yelled at the wretched nun who hit my grandmother with a ruler. She still remembers her father as "a giant of a man, six foot three, with the broadest shoulders you've seen" - except her father passed away before she was a teenager. She ought to have written a novel. Her mind is not sharp these days, but the visuals it creates when she's telling a story is wonderful.

I will miss her the most for that very reason. I like to think that's where I get my knack for writing. To lose the person I really "leveled with" is hard. And the cancer. It's beyond me how someone who does not smoke or drink dies of throat cancer. There are a million and one factors in this illness that I won't discuss and we'll probably never truly know.

On to BOSTON! You know the trip is going to be a good one if there's Hangover references the whole time. My mother, sister and I began calling ourselves the "wolf pack," and made enough inside jokes to last us years.

The sad fact of Boston is that we never get to do anything "touristy" when we visit. We had an extra day on this trip, and got to bounce around the Kennedy museum on Saturday, which was the coolest ever. I got lo learn a little more about JFK than I already knew - his year at the American Embassy in Paris (!), his background in writing, his time in the navy, and the fact that he'd written a book called "Why England Slept" which analyzed Europe's lack of response to Germany's uprising in WW2. I actually forgot what a history geek I was. I need to read more books, and you can bet I'm starting with "Why England Slept."



They expanded the wing on the lovely Jackie O. I remember thinking to myself, "I want to be her." I rescind that. Although she was beautiful, smart and brought so much art and culture to the White House, her disposition seemed almost too breathy and housewifey. She was not the forward-thinking woman I thought her to be. But it was the early sixties, and she had an image to hold up, and part of that image was dutiful wife and mother. And I understand that.

I decided I don't want to be her, but I'd give up all my possessions to dress like her. A stunning wardrobe. So jealous!

After that, an incredible lunch followed - well, I should say an incredible dessert followed! I had some of the best homemade fro-yo ever at a tiny soda fountain called Cabot's. Loved the vintage feel (and the glassware)! Lunch itself wasn't impressive, bit Lauren and I each stuffed ourselves with sundaes. After that, we had an incredible time driving through Lexington and Concord, and made it to the North bridge, where the "Shot Heard Round the World" was fired. Loved this tiny memorial to the British soldiers, though:



It was gross and muddy on the way, and we did have a "man down." Sorry, Laur!



And I can't forget about the cosmos. When all was said and done, after every delish meal and fun little visit to cheer Grandma up, the wolf pack found themselves back at the hotel bar, chatting with our new "friend" Ram. He makes the best cosmo you'll ever have. Mmm, mmm, mmm.

Although we hit zero traffic home, it was an exhausting trip and very difficult to leave. I know it's not my last adventure in Beantown, but it was a rare kind of weekend in itself. Back to reality tomorrow.

The Boston Pregame

I sound like I'm in college with that title, ha!

I cooked my brains out today, and I am HAPPY about that! I'm making dinner for my two favorite ladies in the world (my mom and sister) before we go off to Boston tomorrow. At first I was only going to make the main course - turkey meatloaf - but then I thought I'd fiddle around with a side dish, too. Then I thought, I should make a BBQ glaze for the meatloaf. And then I made a small lunch with some fabulous flavor.

I wish I had pictures of any of these things. Bear with me.

The turkey meatloaf was run-of-mill. Ground turkey, an egg, a handful of breadcrumbs, s&p, ketchup, a finely chopped green pepper, garlic and a generous shake of steak seasoning. My last meatloaf went overboard on the breadcrumbs, and made it taste savory (or, as my Dad said, like stuffing). I want the meat and the flavor, so I tried not to go nuts with them this time!

I love my side dish. I mixed up olive oil, lemon juice, s&p, and garlic chunks, then brushed the liquid over chopped zukes, yellow squash and sweet peppers. Then I made a tomato basil pesto (I do love my dad's pesto, but sometimes I can't wrap my head around the green).by blending sun-dried tomatoes, garlic, basil and a little olive oil. That went on top of the veggies, and, the "piece de resistance" - crumbled goat cheese on top, back into the oven for 20 minutes. Glory.

The BBQ sauce was FUN to make - like tossing everything into a bowl and hoping for the best! I used ketchup as a base, then evened it out a few shakes of soy sauce, hot sauce, brown sugar, apple butter, pumpkin butter and cinnamon. I have practically no honey left, so I had to find a way to compensate. I let it all simmer in a pan for about half an hour. It's not terrible. But I may be a little more formulaic next time. ;)

This is EXCITING! I'm not exactly a great cook by ANY means, but it calms me down and it makes me feel like I'm somewhat grown up. I should start packing it all up to get ready to go to my mom's. I'll hopefully blog from Bahhhston next time!

Weekend Re-cap

Things are finally beginning to pick up again at the magazine, which is why I haven’t really posted.

So, it looks like the worst of February might be over (well, OK, there’s ten days of the month left, but if I can suffer through the first 18, and get snow dumped on my twice in the process, I think I’ll be OK).

Anyway, might I just say for now, that, yes, its OK to be a grown-up at Medieval Times:



My two best friends. They’re probably going to give me ell about this. I will likely get phonecalls about “misrepresentation on the internet” or something. It’s out of love, ladies, I promise.

Also, there are only about 5 weeks left until the Fisherman’s 5K! I need to stop running in my comfort zone – generally, I don’t break 3 miles in 30 minutes. Ten-minute miles are a good start, but I know I can do better. So, in honor of Lent and the “clean slate” it brings, I’m focusing harder on improving my mile time this week and next. By the way, has anyone “given up” anything for Lent?

Travel news! I leave for Boston soon! I’m sure my next post will be delightfully Beantown-inspired. For now, back to work.

Getting Old and liking it.

Since last post, things seem monumentally better. I guess it’s just a notion of finding something to hold onto, finding comfort in familiarity.

On this side of the Atlantic, things are also pretty great. I am hoping that Wednesday’s snowstorm, that annihilated Jersey with another 18 inches, is the last of severe winter weather (I know we’re getting a few inches on Monday, but I couldn’t give a shit). I’m honestly so happy to be at work today and was thrilled when my roommate and I shoveled out and left the apartment. I hate being cooped up.

Yesterday was a rescue mission/good deed day for my mom, who did not luck out during Snow-mageddon II. There’s an old pine tree that has been lurking dangerously above our house – above my old bedroom, actually! – for years. Whenever we had a bad storm in the summertime, I refused to sleep in my room; I was too scared the tree would fall over, hit my room and kill me.

My mom was shoveling on Wednesday night. She pulled her car to the back half of our driveway, shoveled a bit, then went inside. She says she was inside for about ten minutes when she heard a loud CRACK.



That’s her car. The branch fell between her car and the house. Luckiest. Woman. Alive.

She was somewhat of a wreck for the rest of the night. So on Thursday I hurried over with the intention of making or going out for dinner. Mom sort of beat me to the punch on that, but I did make a scrumptious salad. That counts, right?

Today has been nothing short of wonderful. I got these delivered to work today:



I’m really not into Valentine’s Day, but, I have to admit, I LOVE them, and I love that I can show them off. They’re perfect. And it’s really nice having a significant other for the holiday. Even if I really don’t care :P

I checked my bank account to discover my TAX REFUND went in, meaning I have more money than I can possibly remember in my bank account. I’ve paid all my bills for the month, put what I need to put into savings and written out my monthly budget. Can I just say how good that feels? I probably sound old and lame, but I love being financially responsible for myself. I love the independence of payday, of paying for everything I have, even if it sucks so much sometimes. It’s a true point of pride.

I’m also really looking forward to the weekend, but I’m sure there’ll be more about that next time.

...in lonely frustration of the life you deserved.

Any man is capable of reinventing himself. My father was fired from Waste Management a year ago this week, after 20 years with the company. My parents hover precariously in the “paycheck to paycheck" zone, sometimes, but they're getting by. My dad, at 55, is rebuilding, reinventing. My father and I don’t always get along, but I HAVE to respect someone who didn't give in.

I will not, will not, will not, share in this misery. That’s not what people do. They support each other: yes. And I will be supportive.

That phone call last night… I’ve heard it before. And I am scared. The only other person I felt I loved - he had a personal crisis about grad school, just like this. It turned into a meltdown. It turned into a coldness. He decided the best way to continue was misery. And cutting off everyone who loved him. Myself included.

I don’t believe that history’s going to repeat itself, but I do know my tolerance for self-pity has changed rapidly since then. I don’t know what’s going to happen next.

In other news. More snow tomorrow. I'm so happy I could shoot myself in the foot.

My mom teased me this weekend. "You used to love snow." I guess I'm getting older. Or maybe just more disillusioned.

Snowed in

Well, all of my weekend plans, minus being able to go out briefly last night, are most obviously canceled. No post office. No Medieval Times. Nothin'.

When I get bored, I tend to do two things: feel bad about having nothing to do and overeat. I know. My goal for today is to avoid both. I accept that today might not be terribly productive. I might even be a little lazy today...and I'm gonna like it, dammit ;)

And, I'll make good food choices. I have plenty of food to eat and cook so maybe I'll so that in a bit.

I did take a quick walk in the blizzard, shoveled out my walk and driveway (only to have most of it un-done in a matter of minutes. Here's what it's like in PPB:


That street was plowed at around 8 this morning...



I thought this was pretty.



Awwwww!

And lastly: the anchor is buried! I live in walking distance of a great place called Captain Ed's. The restaurant has this huge anchor outside, and, well, look !



Stay warm and safe, everyone. I don't know about you, but I need summertime ASAP.

Day 4

Know what I hate?

The snow. The snow explicitly ruining weekend plans without actually giving me the OK to leave work early. I get to suffer on the panicked commute home AND suffer stuck inside tomorrow.

I hate being stuck, no matter who I’m with. The idea that I had no choice but to stay put freaks me out big time.

But come hell or high water, I am going to accomplish something this weekend – I’m completing my passport application. I’ll walk to the damn post office if need be.

I also want to look into this:



Chris sent me this today, with only this semi-vague explanation: “I was on a bridge in Paris today, and this fence is covered in padlocks.” I’m dying to know what it means and how it started – the fence itself doesn’t look remotely fancy, so I assume this isn’t some long-standing tradition.

Hmm. Well, if the snow ruins my life this Saturday, I can always do my taxes. And shovel, of course. Ugh.

Day 3: Asian Chicken in the Crock + Teavana FAIL.

So, I rushed home from the gym because I had cooking on the mind. It's literally all I wanted to do when I got home. I had quite the adventure at the Shop-Rite of Montgomery today. There was who I'd like to refer to only as a Coupon Monger who was harassing the cashier...then I realized that this was actually the most inept cashier on record.

Forty minutes and 44 dollars later, I had everything I needed to try out an Asian chicken recipe. I filled the bottom of my Crockpot with green & yellow peppers, water chestnuts, an onion and a lotttt of garlic. (I love that it's totally acceptable to LOVE heaping amounts of garlic, btw. My stinky breath thanks my supportive friends :D). Chicken breasts went in on top, with some doctored "sweet teriyaki." I started with a few splashes of teriyaki as a base, then added honey and a little organic peanut butter to thicken it, then threw in ginger for good measure. I'm not so sure about it....I think I get overzealous.

But here's how it's lookin':



My second thing was to try and steep all this loose tea I inherited from Chris:


But that, once again, was an astounding fail. It's not strong enough. I placed the infuser into hot water, waited three minutes, then pushed down on the press. My tea smells glorious. And tastes like water. With some sort of fruity kick.

I feel kinda dumb. Am I supposed to push down, wait, then pull upward? This thing came with no instructions.

Well, I'm off to sip my flavored warm water and settle in.

Day 3

I haven't been feeling well at all, so I took the day off yesterday.

It wasn’t a good day mentally, either, which I think makes it more important than ever that I stick to this blog.

This is hard, and I know I’ve said that already. And that;s why I really need to push forward. Some accomplishments I wanted to share:

- I’m traveling this month! A road trip to Boston with my mom and sister has been set in motion. I could not be more thrilled to go. I’ve always loved traveling: driving, staying in hotels, taking in a city’s sights. We tend to cut the touristy part short each visit, so I hope there’ll be a little adventure this time!

- I did three miles in 30:08. Eight seconds away from this month’s goal. Huzzah!

- Foodisms. Tonight, I’m going to try out my teapot (it confuses the hell out of me). I’ve also been toying with creating BBQ sauce. For what purpose, I don’t really know. But cooking is certainly in the cards.

Until next time…

Day 1/163

Today, I want to try and figure out the best way to list my goals. Searching through Google gadgets has left me feeling rather frustrated.

I joined Listaculous today:



Notables:
- I did an unexpected good deed today, which I think is something you ought to strive for without necessarily trying. I drove Colleen, my fantastic roomie, to work in Red Bank. The trip was kinda out of the way for me, but it was a ton of fun to make the trip together (we used to drive to RB together in the summertime, when I took the train to the city), plus I got to see the classroom where she teaches.

Tomorrow, expect quite a few of these items to get crossed off the list, and hopefully a little more content and a little less blathering.

The beginning.

"I hope you never know how hard it is to wait."

The Solids are crooning on my iTunes. How very appropriate.

Well, I've trashed and swept out and re-started this blog a billion times over, and I think I've finally found a reason to stick to it: a 163-day to-do list.

Although I've been in a relationship for four months, I've never stood by the idea of the woman's role of a sad, clingy significant other. I've always enjoyed having my own life. And while Chris is away exploring Paris and attending grad school, I want to keep busy and keep going over here in Jersey.

(Now, it's not like there aren't things I want to accomplish while Chris is here, but I also reason that it'd be way more fun, and even challenging at times, to discover what's out there and see where my limits lie.

I'm getting together a "system." I think it would be interesting to try three goals a week, with some having more of a longterm durations than others. For example - I might try and give up swearing for a week, to do a good deed once a day, to lose a set amount of inches or pounds in a month. I'm not quite sure how to organize or approach this, but I figure things will come together somehow.

Chris just sent me his last text message in the States. I think it's appropriate that I hit "publish."